Colonel Schaeffer’s Last Chancers – “Brains” and “Shiv”

Colonel Schaeffer's Last Chancers - "Brains" and "Shiv"

After really quite enjoying the process of plucking unpainted models out of the tub of unpainted survivors and just getting them from based to completed quickly, I decided I’d like to paint up a couple more of my Imperial Guard Schaeffer’s Last Chancers box that came out way back in 1999. I painted Warrior Woman back in Febuary, and I figure it’d be nice to paint the entire box of models before the end of this year, especially as they’re nice characterful models and would probably work in games like Kill Team, or even Stargrave, etc.

Colonel Schaeffer's Last Chancers - "Brains" and "Shiv"

So I plucked this pair. For painting reference, I checked out the official box art to see what GW had done, and then took liberties from there. Shiv’s outfit seemed fine enough, so I didn’t deviate a whole lot, though I wanted to give his skin a pale, somewhat sickly pallor – because, you know, just look at him! It hasn’t come out all that well in the photos, unfortunately, but it’s there.

Shiv, on the other hand clearly has a Native American inspiration, given his outfit and the box art so I went with a more tanned skin tone, though I skipped most of the colourful aspects of the original – figuring that one bracelet was enough colourful bling for an outdoorsy Imperial Guard Regiment

Colonel Schaeffer's Last Chancers - "Brains" and "Shiv"

Amusingly/Depressingly, while doing my googling to figure out what the names of these models were, I found myself on Reddit where a person who identified themselves as Native American who wrote about how he likes this model since he felt it was clear representation for his culture was roundly put in his place by some (presumably white guy) who told him in no uncertain terms that the model is an unacceptable and offensive caricature. (following that guy, I found he also posts on /sigmarxism, so there ya go…) I mean, there’s your white entitlement – having the arrogance and gall to tell other people how they should think about their own representation… and I’m a “fucking leftie”. Just one with a brain and an understanding of irony and nuance…

So anyway, I’m not going to speak for anyone but myself, but this model seems pretty tame, as really only the hair and fringes/tassels potentially mark him as descended from any particular culture. He’s not wearing a long feathered headdress or sculpted in a “war dance” pose, and the headband has cultural overtones while also being pretty IG-generic over the years. Aside from the whole “Dirty Dozen” thing, I think the model’s sculpt was most influenced by the Perry Twins’ love of History and Historical miniatures – something that became even more apparent since then with some other LC models I’m still painting…
Colonel Schaeffer's Last Chancers - "Brains" and "Shiv"

Anyway, people on the internet being offended by everything aside, this was really an enjoyable pair of models to pluck out of the leadpile and work on from start to finish – a nice break from all the Zombicide Survivors, but also models that I would not have just grabbed to paint if I wasn’t on such a roll of getting interesting and different models painted due to those same Zombicide models.

Zombicide Survivors “Adriana” (Beyonce as Foxxy Cleopatra from Austin Powers, Goldmember) & “Lea” (Emma Stone as Wichita from Zombieland)

Zombicide Survivors “Adriana” (Beyonce as Foxxy Cleopatra from Austin Powers, Goldmember) & "Lea" (Emma Stone as Wichita from Zombieland)

Today we have yet another pair of Zombicide survivors – I figured that since I was on a roll of getting one of these characters painted each day I should most definitely ride that wave of paint enthusiasm as long as I could get it to last, especially as I was able to get models painted that I’d otherwise been avoiding.

Zombicide Survivor “Adriana” (Beyonce as Foxxy Cleopatra from Austin Powers, Goldmember)

First up, I plucked out the model based on Beyonce Knowles’ performance in Austin Powers in Goldmember, a movie I still haven’t gotten around to watching. I really should, but such a backlog, and I spend most of my free time painting or sometimes vidya-gaming. As with Belle, I emphasised Beyonce’s abs after one of the images I found from Goldmember really showed the work she put in there (much more than in the below image of the outfit).

It did take a little bit of googling, but I eventually found the exact outfit in question. And boy I was chuffed to need to paint a bright yellow!

Zombicide Survivor “Adriana” (Beyonce as Foxxy Cleopatra from Austin Powers, Goldmember)

In the end, I was pretty happy with how well I was able to replicate that bright-as-fuck yellow from her movie outfit on the model.

Zombicide Survivor "Lea" (Emma Stone as Wichita from Zombieland)

Lea is a model based on Emma Stone’s “Wichita” character from Zombieland – which if you haven’t seen it – is quite a fun movie about a Zombie Apocalypse and one I do recommend catching if you have a chance. The second one’s not as good, but the first one is a real fun film. Guillotine Studios took a few extra liberties with Wichita’s design when they ripped it off for Zombicide and put Emma into a sexy nightclubbing version of her movie outfit, complete with barely-there skirt and whoops! It’s been ripped right off her arse so you can see her panties! in the Zombvivor version.

Zombicide Survivor "Lea" (Emma Stone as Wichita from Zombieland)

I mentioned when I showed off “Maki” the other day that the whole “bra-less” and “open shirt” Pin-Up thing doesn’t work for me with these models. I’m not going to use the term “problematic” because fuck people who love to throw that word around on the internet as though using it makes them better humans. That’s also not to say that I have an overwhelming problem with models that are skimily dressed, or even bare-chested – it all just depends on the context – for example, Witch Elves, or Ancient Greeks or Romans (or even some Norse figures). Or or even some of the skimpy outfits that many of the Zombicide “tribute” figures that specifically attempt to pay “Tribute” to specific characters or performers from Pop culture in specific outfits from specific movies or scenes.

Abigail Breslin and Emma Stone star in Columbia Pictures’ comedy ZOMBIELAND.

I have to say I have a much bigger issue with “Lea” here than with “Adriana” because I don’t recall Emma Stone wearing a tiny skirt and crop top in Zombieland – that outfit involved a regular white t-shirt and jeans. I don’t even mind a bit of artistic licence taken to modify an outfit somewhat, but then when you just take an existing character and make them a sexy version of that character that’s not from the media (in your Zombie-killing game!) you’re basically headed somewhere else….

Like, I’m fine with this outfit in *some* situations, but it might not work best in a more “serious” cosplay.

I mean, I’m not going to pretend to speak for women or pretend that “women” are some sort of monolithic entity that all have the same opinion, but I am pretty comfortable speaking for myself. And in that, I’m ok with the outfit that Adriana wears (or “Cat”, who will be up shortly) since it’s taken directly from the movie, but I am annoyed with “Lea”. Not so annoyed that I wasn’t going to paint the model, or that we won’t use the model and character in our games, but annoyed enough to write this up and make unimpressed face (google it!)

Anyway, that’s all I need to say on that for now. Stay tuned for more exciting Zombicide Survivor models wearing skimpy outfits, and even a couple who aren’t (because they’re blokes!)